Bator Roped
Ho Yaku shares some thoughts on edging shibari and a story about tying and edging a Dom together with the Dom’s sub partner.
(IG: @shibari_connections_ / Bluesky: @hoyaku)
edging shibari
Shibari is an erotic, sensual Japanese rope bondage practice. By creating a space for vulnerability and intimacy between partners, it fosters deep connections.
I’ve always been fascinated by this practice and its intricate, erotic and connecting approach, as well as its sense of aesthetic and beauty. So two years ago I decided to go on my own to a beginner’s Shibari class in London and left feeling like I wanted to explore more.
I like that Shibari is kinky, mindful and creative. That it helps develop authentic communication, deeper awareness of body language and body handling techniques. That I can play with sensations to induce emotions: joy, vulnerability, suffering, pain and pleasure, closeness, bonding… in beauty.
Shibari is a journey for me, a path I walk with a partner I can open up to. It’s consensual.
In the end, the rope is only an excuse to interact with a partner. I see it as an extension of my body and a tool to communicate: what I want to say and what I want to hear in return.
When it comes to edging masturbation, Shibari can perfectly blend a very sensual erotic component into a kinky experience. Feeling each other, slowly going from simple, gentle rope restrictions to stronger, more elaborate ones.
The rigger edger makes sure that the edged person is held, surrendering to their rope skills and their hands, to their touch with fast and slow strokes. Exploring body parts and carefully witnessing the reactions, the breathing, the ongoing eye contact. Deciding to add a blindfold to highlight ever more the senses, or a mouth gag to give that extra sense of restriction; or nipple stimulation…
A continuous mindful kinky presence, playing with many subtle sensations.
edging a dom
This story happened at a Bator Bro.
After a couple hours edging and bating with some guys, I went to the rug area bringing with me a bag full of ropes with the clear intention of performing Shibari. Some showed interest and I started restraining and edging a guy.
A spectator came up to me and asked if I could tie up his boyfriend who, he said, was Dom and could only control and dominate during sexual interactions. His boyfriend wanted to try out what it felt to completely let go and surrender control, so with his consent, I began to tie him up and blindfold him.
As I did that, his ‘sub’ boyfriend was mesmerized by the process of me taking over and him surrendering to my ropes and touch. Others joined in to edge him while he, tied and blindfolded, felt us on his penis, body and lips.
Then, the sub boyfriend and I started playing with each other, leaving him immobile and untouched, as he heard and felt us edge each other nearby. As we went on, we could hear his breath and movement intensify yet remain comfortable with his and our situation.
Then, I changed the knots: hands behind his back, his erect penis exposed. We both started kissing him, playing with his nipples, his pits, balls and greased up penis until we made him reach climax. He squirted so much his body shook from the intense pleasure we had built up during the whole session.
Now unrestrained and still in heaven, he thanked me so much for the incredible experience which allowed him to totally let go, enjoy the moment and my rope work. His boyfriend, too, thanked me and stressed how beautiful it was to see his neurotic partner finally able to sexually be taken care of and surrender to another.
That’s the mindful power of erotic, sensual, conscious Shibari rope work. I was over the moon with the experience, emotional reaction and feedback which strengthened evermore my passion for what I do and why I do it.